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Whole People

coaching, counselling and training in Worthing (UK) and online with Pat Spink

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mental health

I’m so happy for you… (or am I?!)

Why is it sometimes so hard for us to feel genuinely happy for other people in our lives when they achieve success or something really lovely or lucky happens for them?

Do we smile, but through gritted teeth?

adult-attraction-background-1322157 (1).jpgHow do we feel when we look at this photo, for example?

Do we smile along with the person in it?

Or think she might be showing off?

Or wonder if she wants to ‘rub it in’ that she can afford the money and the time to be where she is, having fun, and we can’t?

In my experience, envy or jealousy doesn’t happen every time – but sometimes it does…

And what does it say about us if we feel a twinge?

Does that mean that we’re a bad person?

Or does it just mean that we’re human? Continue reading “I’m so happy for you… (or am I?!)”

Thinking Inside the Box…?

Most of us are pretty familiar with the phrase ‘think outside the box’ in terms of taking a more creative approach to something. thinking-outside-the-box-33399_1280.png

But there’s an article in today’s Metro which I saw being discussed on the Jeremy Vine show on Channel 5 about a company selling boxes to put over your head and help you think inside the box.

The panel on the show had some boxes similar to those being sold and put them over their heads while they discussed it.

The discussion was pretty light-hearted and did make me smile – and I leave you to form your own views as to the usefulness and pricing of the article in question.

face-with-tears-of-joy_1f602Personally, I have a vivid image in my mind, now, of a person in a the middle of an open plan office with a box on their head covered in rude and funny Post Its from their mischievous colleagues…

But, of course, there’s a serious point here, too – about how we can all benefit from taking a break‘unplugging’ every now and again. Continue reading “Thinking Inside the Box…?”

How Ikigai Can Help Us

 

ikigai‘Ikigai’ is a Japanese word for describing the pleasures and meanings of life – from ‘iki’ (to live) and ‘gai’ (reason) – sometimes described as ‘the reason we get up in the morning’.

It has five pillars:

  1. Starting small
  2. Releasing yourself
  3. Harmony and sustainability
  4. The joy of small things
  5. Being in the here and now

This is a lovely combination of several concepts which I find particularly useful. Continue reading “How Ikigai Can Help Us”

Finding our way out of the grey…

Back in June I posted this on Instagram:

tunnel and light.png

I really like what Hayley Williams said here.

Despite the substantial progress we’ve made in recent years, I think many of us still struggle with talking about mental illness – which is why we talk about ‘mental health’ instead?

And, like Williams, I think we do tend to polarise the issue – categorising ourselves and others as either completely healthy or sick – but surely there’s a whole lot of space in between these?

Continue reading “Finding our way out of the grey…”

CLANGERS for all…!!!

CLANGERS

I saw Dr Phil Hammond (doctor and comedian) on TV recently. I love this concept of his – simple and memorable.

As he says:

“The daily habits of healthy, happy people are easy to say but harder to do. Try to do your daily CLANGERS, and help others to do theirs. Changes in lifestyle are far more powerful than any drug we have to offer.” Continue reading “CLANGERS for all…!!!”

“A few years ago I would have been admiring the view – now I’m on my phone…”

smartphonesThis was a quote from a member of the public broadcast on BBC Breakfast this morning in a report about our seemingly ever-increasing addiction to smartphones in the UK.

Another interviewee said that she thought smartphones had: “made my life better but children’s lives worse.”

According to the latest report from telecoms regulator Ofcom, and about which there’s a good article at bbc.co.uk:

  • 78% of all adults in the UK now own a smartphone
  • 40% of us look at them within five minutes of waking
  • the average Brit checks their phone every 12 minutes while awake and uses it for about 2½ hours each day
  • a third of us check them just before falling asleep

This last one isn’t a great habit if we want to sleep well, by the way – see my blog last month re our use of apps and the effects of blue light.

How we use our phones may also have changed – the report says the total volume of calls fell in 2017.

But maybe that’s not quite the whole story – what the report didn’t track were the calls made using apps such as Skype, WhatsApp and Facebook Messenger instead.

So where are we headed? Continue reading ““A few years ago I would have been admiring the view – now I’m on my phone…””

Appy Days & Restful Nights

apps

I’ve written previously about the negative effects of technology on our lives – but there is good in there, too.

This was highlighted by the ‘Tech4Good’ awards for which Anna Bawden was a judge and about which she wrote recently in theguardian.com.

Amongst these are apps helping people to:

  • communicate and navigate – taking account of particular impairments such as deafness, blindness and partial sight
  • call emergency services if in distress or danger and unable to speak – particularly useful in instances of breathing difficulties, allergies or domestic abuse
  • manage neurological and physical physiotherapy
  • identify and express feelings
  • support mental health recovery

Continue reading “Appy Days & Restful Nights”

Everybody Hurts

It’s that time of year again – my ‘guilty pleasure’ Britain’s Got Talent is back on ITV in the UK. winking-face_1f609

I caught up on the audition stages last week and was incredibly touched by Father Ray Kelly’s rendition of the R.E.M. classic (a 7 minute clip including his introduction to the panel before he sings):

Who’s in charge, you or your emotions?

emotions in charge.png

I recently came across an article By Cody Delistraty: You’ll Be Happier If You Let Yourself Feel Bad’.

It talks about a study, led by University of Toronto Assistant Psychology Professor Brett Ford, which explores the link between our acceptance of negativity and our well-being.  Continue reading “Who’s in charge, you or your emotions?”

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