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coaching, counselling and training in Worthing (UK) and online with Pat Spink

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personal development

Success – on whose terms?

I’ve been thinking about this quite a bit lately.

The stories we tell ourselves about our own lives….

What we say, how we ‘report’ our lives, when we speak to people we haven’t seen for a while and they ask us what we’re up to these days…

Does it feel like we have to ‘put on a show’ and that we’re in a competition that we’re losing more often than not..?

For example, what do we say when someone asks “What did you get up to this weekend?” Have you ever been tempted to ‘guild the lily’ a little to appear more active and interesting than you think the truth might sound? I know I have… face-with-tears-of-joy_1f602

And what does success in one area of our life cost us in another?

Hence some of my recent Instagram posts:

success - what did you have to give upstrengths presupposes energy channeled from other areas

Continue reading “Success – on whose terms?”

He took it in his stride – literally!

Lukas Bates completed the London Marathon in a very respectable time this week (3hrs, 54m, 21s) and all whilst wearing a fancy dress costume of the London landmark: the Elizabeth Tower, which houses Big Ben.

What hit the news, though, was that his costume was too tall for him to get underneath the frame at the finish line without some help:

This made me smile for several reasons. Continue reading “He took it in his stride – literally!”

How Ikigai Can Help Us

 

ikigai‘Ikigai’ is a Japanese word for describing the pleasures and meanings of life – from ‘iki’ (to live) and ‘gai’ (reason) – sometimes described as ‘the reason we get up in the morning’.

It has five pillars:

  1. Starting small
  2. Releasing yourself
  3. Harmony and sustainability
  4. The joy of small things
  5. Being in the here and now

This is a lovely combination of several concepts which I find particularly useful. Continue reading “How Ikigai Can Help Us”

Tibetan Wisdom

 

To kick off the New Year with some reflection.

From an unknown original source, I think this list contains a lot of good sense and some food for thought:

buddha-1716251_1920

Continue reading “Tibetan Wisdom”

Why I Like Watching Christmas Movies

christmas films.png

If you’ve read any of my previous blogs relating to Christmas (such as Christmas Presents an Issue’ or ‘Something they want … or an IOU?’) you might be somewhat surprised at the title here.

I do struggle with the commercialisation, the social/emotional pressure to be with people with whom we might not choose to spend our time, to do things (in a way) that might not sit comfortably, for everything to be ‘perfect’, the false ‘bonhomie’, and so on….

So why do I enjoy watching Christmas films?

I think I’ve finally peeled away the layers and figured it out – and what I enjoy about them actually has little to do with Christmas as such… Continue reading “Why I Like Watching Christmas Movies”

Finding our way out of the grey…

Back in June I posted this on Instagram:

tunnel and light.png

I really like what Hayley Williams said here.

Despite the substantial progress we’ve made in recent years, I think many of us still struggle with talking about mental illness – which is why we talk about ‘mental health’ instead?

And, like Williams, I think we do tend to polarise the issue – categorising ourselves and others as either completely healthy or sick – but surely there’s a whole lot of space in between these?

Continue reading “Finding our way out of the grey…”

“Get off the gift-giving treadmill…”

So says Martin Lewis in his latest post on the subject of unnecessary Christmas presents (it’s only 3 minutes and worth a view):

“Zero sum giving”, “tit-for-tat giving” where, as he says, we end up with less money or in debt – and with ‘tat’ we don’t want or need….

This is just the right time to start having those conversations, before you go off to the shops or online to buy them.

If you need any more convincing, see also my previous blogs such as:

Christmas Presents an Issue?

Something they want … or an IOU?

‘To Wrap, or Not to Wrap?’ – that is the question...

‘Life Stripped Bare’ – another chance to see it

movers-24403_640I wrote about this UK Channel 4 Series back in 2016 in my blog How Much ‘Stuff’ is Enough? The Naked Truth!.

If you missed it and you’d like to see it, it’s being repeated – starting tomorrow, Monday 28th May, at 11pm.

Enjoy!

A Paltry (or Paltery?) Excuse…

deceive-1299043_1280.png

A friend recently shared a BBC article with me on ‘paltering’ which, according to the Oxford English Dictionary, means to:

“Equivocate or prevaricate in action or speech.”

Or, as we might say, to:

“avoid answering the question that has been asked.”

Is this, in effect, lying?

And why do we do it? Continue reading “A Paltry (or Paltery?) Excuse…”

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