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Whole People

coaching, counselling and training in Worthing (UK) and online with Pat Spink

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feelings

She died after losing her battle with cancer…

This was the news this month re Dame Tessa Jowell, a former UK Cabinet Minister.

Almost without exception, the media coverage I heard and read talked about her ‘losing her battle with cancer’ or her ‘brain cancer fight’.

These words bother me.

I’ve wondered for quite a while now whether when we talk about cancer in this way we put pressure on everyone who receives a similar diagnosis to ‘fight’.

And, then, when they do die, the implication seems to be that they’ve somehow ‘lost’ or ‘failed’ – and maybe didn’t try hard enough… Continue reading “She died after losing her battle with cancer…”

Everybody Hurts

It’s that time of year again – my ‘guilty pleasure’ Britain’s Got Talent is back on ITV in the UK. winking-face_1f609

I caught up on the audition stages last week and was incredibly touched by Father Ray Kelly’s rendition of the R.E.M. classic (a 7 minute clip including his introduction to the panel before he sings):

A Paltry (or Paltery?) Excuse…

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A friend recently shared a BBC article with me on ‘paltering’ which, according to the Oxford English Dictionary, means to:

“Equivocate or prevaricate in action or speech.”

Or, as we might say, to:

“avoid answering the question that has been asked.”

Is this, in effect, lying?

And why do we do it? Continue reading “A Paltry (or Paltery?) Excuse…”

We all love a good gossip – don’t we?

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And what’s the harm – really?

If I only tell one person, then that’s OK isn’t it…?

Or should I try and be ‘good’ and not indulge at all?

And when does talking about someone else become gossip, anyway?

One of my counselling tutors used to quote an old Yiddish proverb:

“Gossip hurts 3 people:

  • The one who gossips
  • The one talked about
  • The who listens and now has ‘guilty knowledge’ “

Continue reading “We all love a good gossip – don’t we?”

Do Something, Do Nothing or Do Something Else – for 20 Minutes

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What could 20 minutes do for you?

Depending upon how you use the time, it might:

  • help you get you going with something you’ve been putting off
  • be a welcome break during which you might also learn something new
  • or stop you doing something else that you might regret later.

Allow me to explain….

Continue reading “Do Something, Do Nothing or Do Something Else – for 20 Minutes”

Happier, calmer – and slower?

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I was prompted to think about happiness last week when a note written on the subject by Albert Einstein was sold for $1.56m.

He gave it to a courier in Tokyo in 1922 instead of a tip. Having just heard that he’d won the Nobel prize for physics he told the messenger that, if he was lucky, the note would become valuable – how right he was!

But was he also right in what he wrote in the note itself? It said:

“A calm and humble life will bring more happiness

than the pursuit of success and the constant restlessness that comes with it.” Continue reading “Happier, calmer – and slower?”

Who’s in charge, you or your emotions?

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I recently came across an article By Cody Delistraty: You’ll Be Happier If You Let Yourself Feel Bad’.

It talks about a study, led by University of Toronto Assistant Psychology Professor Brett Ford, which explores the link between our acceptance of negativity and our well-being.  Continue reading “Who’s in charge, you or your emotions?”

“I’m not in love…”

This song by 10cc and written by its band members Eric Stewart and Graham Gouldman, was played on the radio while I was driving last weekend.

Immediately it reminded me of  myself as a teenager – which I was at the time it was released. Music does that, doesn’t it, takes us straight back there.

And I realised, too, that I feel differently, as I listen to it now… Continue reading ““I’m not in love…””

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