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Whole People

coaching, counselling and training in Worthing (UK) and online with Pat Spink

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feelings

“A few years ago I would have been admiring the view – now I’m on my phone…”

smartphonesThis was a quote from a member of the public broadcast on BBC Breakfast this morning in a report about our seemingly ever-increasing addiction to smartphones in the UK.

Another interviewee said that she thought smartphones had: “made my life better but children’s lives worse.”

According to the latest report from telecoms regulator Ofcom, and about which there’s a good article at bbc.co.uk:

  • 78% of all adults in the UK now own a smartphone
  • 40% of us look at them within five minutes of waking
  • the average Brit checks their phone every 12 minutes while awake and uses it for about 2½ hours each day
  • a third of us check them just before falling asleep

This last one isn’t a great habit if we want to sleep well, by the way – see my blog last month re our use of apps and the effects of blue light.

How we use our phones may also have changed – the report says the total volume of calls fell in 2017.

But maybe that’s not quite the whole story – what the report didn’t track were the calls made using apps such as Skype, WhatsApp and Facebook Messenger instead.

So where are we headed? Continue reading ““A few years ago I would have been admiring the view – now I’m on my phone…””

Missing You

On the topic of missing people who have died, at just over 3 minutes, I think Hussain Manawer performing ‘The White Rose’, his poem about the loss of his mother is worth a watch:

She died after losing her battle with cancer…

This was the news this month re Dame Tessa Jowell, a former UK Cabinet Minister.

Almost without exception, the media coverage I heard and read talked about her ‘losing her battle with cancer’ or her ‘brain cancer fight’.

These words bother me.

I’ve wondered for quite a while now whether when we talk about cancer in this way we put pressure on everyone who receives a similar diagnosis to ‘fight’.

And, then, when they do die, the implication seems to be that they’ve somehow ‘lost’ or ‘failed’ – and maybe didn’t try hard enough… Continue reading “She died after losing her battle with cancer…”

Everybody Hurts

It’s that time of year again – my ‘guilty pleasure’ Britain’s Got Talent is back on ITV in the UK. winking-face_1f609

I caught up on the audition stages last week and was incredibly touched by Father Ray Kelly’s rendition of the R.E.M. classic (a 7 minute clip including his introduction to the panel before he sings):

A Paltry (or Paltery?) Excuse…

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A friend recently shared a BBC article with me on ‘paltering’ which, according to the Oxford English Dictionary, means to:

“Equivocate or prevaricate in action or speech.”

Or, as we might say, to:

“avoid answering the question that has been asked.”

Is this, in effect, lying?

And why do we do it? Continue reading “A Paltry (or Paltery?) Excuse…”

We all love a good gossip – don’t we?

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And what’s the harm – really?

If I only tell one person, then that’s OK isn’t it…?

Or should I try and be ‘good’ and not indulge at all?

And when does talking about someone else become gossip, anyway?

One of my counselling tutors used to quote an old Yiddish proverb:

“Gossip hurts 3 people:

  • The one who gossips
  • The one talked about
  • The who listens and now has ‘guilty knowledge’ “

Continue reading “We all love a good gossip – don’t we?”

Do Something, Do Nothing or Do Something Else – for 20 Minutes

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What could 20 minutes do for you?

Depending upon how you use the time, it might:

  • help you get you going with something you’ve been putting off
  • be a welcome break during which you might also learn something new
  • or stop you doing something else that you might regret later.

Allow me to explain….

Continue reading “Do Something, Do Nothing or Do Something Else – for 20 Minutes”

Happier, calmer – and slower?

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I was prompted to think about happiness last week when a note written on the subject by Albert Einstein was sold for $1.56m.

He gave it to a courier in Tokyo in 1922 instead of a tip. Having just heard that he’d won the Nobel prize for physics he told the messenger that, if he was lucky, the note would become valuable – how right he was!

But was he also right in what he wrote in the note itself? It said:

“A calm and humble life will bring more happiness

than the pursuit of success and the constant restlessness that comes with it.” Continue reading “Happier, calmer – and slower?”

Who’s in charge, you or your emotions?

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I recently came across an article By Cody Delistraty: You’ll Be Happier If You Let Yourself Feel Bad’.

It talks about a study, led by University of Toronto Assistant Psychology Professor Brett Ford, which explores the link between our acceptance of negativity and our well-being.  Continue reading “Who’s in charge, you or your emotions?”

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