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Whole People

coaching, counselling and training in Worthing (UK) and online with Pat Spink

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feelings

Are you waving or drowning?

Today is World Mental Health Awareness Day, a day to check in with ourselves – are we thriving, coping, surviving or feeling overwhelmed?

And if we’re ok, maybe to check in with those we care about.

There’s a (really short) poem I like: “Not Waving but Drowning” by Stevie Smith – inspired by something she read about a man who drowned and whose friends thought he was waving to them, not drowning.

She compares this to the way in which people in everyday life sometimes try to be ‘brave’ and/or pretend to be ok, when really they’re not.

Continue reading “Are you waving or drowning?”

How resilient are you?

Today is World Suicide Prevention Day – an appropriate time to think about how we are looking after ourselves and each other right now, and how resilient we feel.

Have you found yourself (more than usually, on occasion, or more often) off-balance or overwhelmed this year as a result of life events that you may (or may not) have anticipated – plus, on top of all of that, everything we’ve all been dealing with/are still facing to do with covid-19?

I know I have, and that it’s also true for many people I know, personally and professionally.

How do you rate your own resilience amongst all this? Are you the ‘Weeble that wobbles but doesn’t fall down’ (maybe I’m showing my age here with this example…?). Or are you worried that you might actually fall down? Continue reading “How resilient are you?”

Hello! Will we ever shake hands again?

When we went into lockdown we all stopped doing this – some of us had stopped even before that.

It’s something we have tended to do here in the UK – in business and socially.

Maybe it’s a generational thing (I’m in my 60s) and perhaps it’s also more prevalent amongst men than women – although, in my experience, lots of women (in a work context, at least) used to shake hands, too.

A handshake seems like a small gesture, but maybe it represents quite a lot? Continue reading “Hello! Will we ever shake hands again?”

Sticks and stones – and the power of words…

I’m thinking today about this old adage which used to be chanted by children in the playground:

“Sticks and stones may break my bones

but words will never hurt me.”

I know differently now, of course – unkind words can really hurt a person.

And, by the same token, that a kind word or two can be really healing, too. Continue reading “Sticks and stones – and the power of words…”

He took it in his stride – literally!

Lukas Bates completed the London Marathon in a very respectable time this week (3hrs, 54m, 21s) and all whilst wearing a fancy dress costume of the London landmark: the Elizabeth Tower, which houses Big Ben.

What hit the news, though, was that his costume was too tall for him to get underneath the frame at the finish line without some help:

This made me smile for several reasons. Continue reading “He took it in his stride – literally!”

I’m so happy for you… (or am I?!)

Why is it sometimes so hard for us to feel genuinely happy for other people in our lives when they achieve success or something really lovely or lucky happens for them?

Do we smile, but through gritted teeth?

adult-attraction-background-1322157 (1).jpgHow do we feel when we look at this photo, for example?

Do we smile along with the person in it?

Or think she might be showing off?

Or wonder if she wants to ‘rub it in’ that she can afford the money and the time to be where she is, having fun, and we can’t?

In my experience, envy or jealousy doesn’t happen every time – but sometimes it does…

And what does it say about us if we feel a twinge?

Does that mean that we’re a bad person?

Or does it just mean that we’re human? Continue reading “I’m so happy for you… (or am I?!)”

Conversations About Cancer

I wrote about how we talk about cancer previously in my blog: She died after losing her battle with cancer…

conversation-1262311_1280.pngAnd I see it’s been in the news again recently.

Evidence suggests that the words we use can land very differently with different people.

Some people find words such as ‘fight’, ‘struggle’, ‘warrior’ and ‘battle’ motivating, whilst for others they will have precisely the opposite effect. Continue reading “Conversations About Cancer”

Thinking Inside the Box…?

Most of us are pretty familiar with the phrase ‘think outside the box’ in terms of taking a more creative approach to something. thinking-outside-the-box-33399_1280.png

But there’s an article in today’s Metro which I saw being discussed on the Jeremy Vine show on Channel 5 about a company selling boxes to put over your head and help you think inside the box.

The panel on the show had some boxes similar to those being sold and put them over their heads while they discussed it.

The discussion was pretty light-hearted and did make me smile – and I leave you to form your own views as to the usefulness and pricing of the article in question.

face-with-tears-of-joy_1f602Personally, I have a vivid image in my mind, now, of a person in a the middle of an open plan office with a box on their head covered in rude and funny Post Its from their mischievous colleagues…

But, of course, there’s a serious point here, too – about how we can all benefit from taking a break‘unplugging’ every now and again. Continue reading “Thinking Inside the Box…?”

Why I Like Watching Christmas Movies

christmas films.png

If you’ve read any of my previous blogs relating to Christmas (such as Christmas Presents an Issue’ or ‘Something they want … or an IOU?’) you might be somewhat surprised at the title here.

I do struggle with the commercialisation, the social/emotional pressure to be with people with whom we might not choose to spend our time, to do things (in a way) that might not sit comfortably, for everything to be ‘perfect’, the false ‘bonhomie’, and so on….

So why do I enjoy watching Christmas films?

I think I’ve finally peeled away the layers and figured it out – and what I enjoy about them actually has little to do with Christmas as such… Continue reading “Why I Like Watching Christmas Movies”

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