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bereavement

What is Your ‘Why’?

We’re into the season of Christmas films again now.

I wrote about why I enjoy watching these a couple of years ago.

Last week, I watched ‘Collateral Beauty’ – a 2016 film starring Will Smith that passed me by until now.

Strictly speaking, it’s probably not a Christmas film – it’s set at this time of year, but Christmas isn’t the main theme.

But, to me, it feels similar in nature to ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’ and ‘A Christmas Carol’ and, like them, has a slightly ‘magical’ quality woven in with some interesting and useful reflections. Continue reading “What is Your ‘Why’?” →

Introverts – time to re-engage – or not?

For any introverts out there who might not have hated lockdown quite as much as their extravert friends and colleagues.

Perhaps you’ve enjoyed the reduced social interaction, invitations and demands and welcomed the opportunity for some (permitted/unchallenged) solitude.

Maybe lockdown has given you the time and space to find some calm within the storm, reconnect with yourself, draw breath, re-centre, adjust your pace of life.

In my experience, not everyone appreciates the difference between loneliness and solitude – and that solitude is something that a lot of us need from time to time and that we value.

So you might be feeling a little guilty or embarrassed – or fear being labelled by friends and family as rather unsociable, depressed or lazy if you’re not rushing to meet up again in person…

You’re not alone in this (even if you’d prefer be – ha ha!) and you might appreciate hearing from a couple of other people who feel similarly. Continue reading “Introverts – time to re-engage – or not?” →

Conversations About Cancer

I wrote about how we talk about cancer previously in my blog: She died after losing her battle with cancer…

conversation-1262311_1280.pngAnd I see it’s been in the news again recently.

Evidence suggests that the words we use can land very differently with different people.

Some people find words such as ‘fight’, ‘struggle’, ‘warrior’ and ‘battle’ motivating, whilst for others they will have precisely the opposite effect. Continue reading “Conversations About Cancer” →

Alone or Lonely?

alone or lonely

On one of my seafront walks recently I noticed someone sitting by themselves on the beach, gazing out to sea – much like the person in the photo here.

Given my particular interest in suicide prevention I needed to make a judgement call as to whether this person seemed in distress and, if so, whether I would approach them. In this case they seemed just fine.

But it started me thinking – they were there alone, perhaps by choice, but maybe not.

Continue reading “Alone or Lonely?” →

Appy Days & Restful Nights

apps

I’ve written previously about the negative effects of technology on our lives – but there is good in there, too.

This was highlighted by the ‘Tech4Good’ awards for which Anna Bawden was a judge and about which she wrote recently in theguardian.com.

Amongst these are apps helping people to:

  • communicate and navigate – taking account of particular impairments such as deafness, blindness and partial sight
  • call emergency services if in distress or danger and unable to speak – particularly useful in instances of breathing difficulties, allergies or domestic abuse
  • manage neurological and physical physiotherapy
  • identify and express feelings
  • support mental health recovery

Continue reading “Appy Days & Restful Nights” →

Missing You

On the topic of missing people who have died, at just over 3 minutes, I think Hussain Manawer performing ‘The White Rose’, his poem about the loss of his mother is worth a watch:

She died after losing her battle with cancer…

This was the news this month re Dame Tessa Jowell, a former UK Cabinet Minister.

Almost without exception, the media coverage I heard and read talked about her ‘losing her battle with cancer’ or her ‘brain cancer fight’.

These words bother me.

I’ve wondered for quite a while now whether when we talk about cancer in this way we put pressure on everyone who receives a similar diagnosis to ‘fight’.

And, then, when they do die, the implication seems to be that they’ve somehow ‘lost’ or ‘failed’ – and maybe didn’t try hard enough… Continue reading “She died after losing her battle with cancer…” →

The Support (We Think) People Want or Need During Difficult Times

“Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”

Commonly known as ‘The Golden Rule’, versions of this sentiment can be found in many cultures and religious and moral frameworks.

It has a strong humanitarian message and seems to work well in a lot of situations.

However, the underlying assumption is that the treatment or behaviour we want or expect from others is the same as they would want from us – and there’s the rub. Continue reading “The Support (We Think) People Want or Need During Difficult Times” →

How Do Men (and Boys) Grieve?

Last month’s BBC documentary ‘Rio Ferdinand: being Mum and Dad’ was very powerful, I thought. It’s currently on YouTube:

Continue reading “How Do Men (and Boys) Grieve?” →

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