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Whole People

coaching, counselling and training in Worthing (UK) and online with Pat Spink

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self-awareness

Discerning Disclosure

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How much do you think about, or notice, the information you give other people or organisations – verbally, or in written or electronic form?

Do you know what they know about you or what they do with that information?

This issue has been highlighted in the news recently regarding Facebook and Cambridge Analytica.

Continue reading “Discerning Disclosure”

A Paltry (or Paltery?) Excuse…

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A friend recently shared a BBC article with me on ‘paltering’ which, according to the Oxford English Dictionary, means to:

“Equivocate or prevaricate in action or speech.”

Or, as we might say, to:

“avoid answering the question that has been asked.”

Is this, in effect, lying?

And why do we do it? Continue reading “A Paltry (or Paltery?) Excuse…”

We all love a good gossip – don’t we?

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And what’s the harm – really?

If I only tell one person, then that’s OK isn’t it…?

Or should I try and be ‘good’ and not indulge at all?

And when does talking about someone else become gossip, anyway?

One of my counselling tutors used to quote an old Yiddish proverb:

“Gossip hurts 3 people:

  • The one who gossips
  • The one talked about
  • The who listens and now has ‘guilty knowledge’ “

Continue reading “We all love a good gossip – don’t we?”

In 2018 I want to…

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Continuing one of the themes from my last blog and, particularly, some of the sentiments in ‘the Hot Chocolate Story’ at the end. I’m inviting you to take a slightly different route into planning your goals for 2018 than what you might have done before.

Instead of starting with a list what you haven’t got or achieved, how about starting the process with a list of what you have got, what you have achieved in 2017 (or earlier) and what you like or love about your life right now? Continue reading “In 2018 I want to…”

Are You an Orchid or a Dandelion?

orchid-2265587_1920Orchids are beautiful but sensitive flowers.dandelion-16656_1920

They require protection and nurturing to blossom.

On the other hand, Dandelions can thrive virtually anywhere.

I came across this way of explaining how some of us develop differently from others when I was catching up on old episodes of Channel 4’s ‘The Secret Life of 4 Year Olds’.

It’s based on a Swedish metaphor: ‘amaskrosbarn’, a “dandelion child” and ‘orkidebarn’, an “orchid child.”  Continue reading “Are You an Orchid or a Dandelion?”

Do Something, Do Nothing or Do Something Else – for 20 Minutes

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What could 20 minutes do for you?

Depending upon how you use the time, it might:

  • help you get you going with something you’ve been putting off
  • be a welcome break during which you might also learn something new
  • or stop you doing something else that you might regret later.

Allow me to explain….

Continue reading “Do Something, Do Nothing or Do Something Else – for 20 Minutes”

Happier, calmer – and slower?

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I was prompted to think about happiness last week when a note written on the subject by Albert Einstein was sold for $1.56m.

He gave it to a courier in Tokyo in 1922 instead of a tip. Having just heard that he’d won the Nobel prize for physics he told the messenger that, if he was lucky, the note would become valuable – how right he was!

But was he also right in what he wrote in the note itself? It said:

“A calm and humble life will bring more happiness

than the pursuit of success and the constant restlessness that comes with it.” Continue reading “Happier, calmer – and slower?”

Who’s in charge, you or your emotions?

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I recently came across an article By Cody Delistraty: You’ll Be Happier If You Let Yourself Feel Bad’.

It talks about a study, led by University of Toronto Assistant Psychology Professor Brett Ford, which explores the link between our acceptance of negativity and our well-being.  Continue reading “Who’s in charge, you or your emotions?”

“I’m not in love…”

This song by 10cc and written by its band members Eric Stewart and Graham Gouldman, was played on the radio while I was driving last weekend.

Immediately it reminded me of  myself as a teenager – which I was at the time it was released. Music does that, doesn’t it, takes us straight back there.

And I realised, too, that I feel differently, as I listen to it now… Continue reading ““I’m not in love…””

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