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Whole People

coaching, counselling and training in Worthing (UK) and online with Pat Spink

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self-awareness

Are You an Orchid or a Dandelion?

orchid-2265587_1920Orchids are beautiful but sensitive flowers.dandelion-16656_1920

They require protection and nurturing to blossom.

On the other hand, Dandelions can thrive virtually anywhere.

I came across this way of explaining how some of us develop differently from others when I was catching up on old episodes of Channel 4’s ‘The Secret Life of 4 Year Olds’.

It’s based on a Swedish metaphor: ‘amaskrosbarn’, a “dandelion child” and ‘orkidebarn’, an “orchid child.”  Continue reading “Are You an Orchid or a Dandelion?”

Do Something, Do Nothing or Do Something Else – for 20 Minutes

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What could 20 minutes do for you?

Depending upon how you use the time, it might:

  • help you get you going with something you’ve been putting off
  • be a welcome break during which you might also learn something new
  • or stop you doing something else that you might regret later.

Allow me to explain….

Continue reading “Do Something, Do Nothing or Do Something Else – for 20 Minutes”

Happier, calmer – and slower?

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I was prompted to think about happiness last week when a note written on the subject by Albert Einstein was sold for $1.56m.

He gave it to a courier in Tokyo in 1922 instead of a tip. Having just heard that he’d won the Nobel prize for physics he told the messenger that, if he was lucky, the note would become valuable – how right he was!

But was he also right in what he wrote in the note itself? It said:

“A calm and humble life will bring more happiness

than the pursuit of success and the constant restlessness that comes with it.” Continue reading “Happier, calmer – and slower?”

Who’s in charge, you or your emotions?

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I recently came across an article By Cody Delistraty: You’ll Be Happier If You Let Yourself Feel Bad’.

It talks about a study, led by University of Toronto Assistant Psychology Professor Brett Ford, which explores the link between our acceptance of negativity and our well-being.  Continue reading “Who’s in charge, you or your emotions?”

“I’m not in love…”

This song by 10cc and written by its band members Eric Stewart and Graham Gouldman, was played on the radio while I was driving last weekend.

Immediately it reminded me of  myself as a teenager – which I was at the time it was released. Music does that, doesn’t it, takes us straight back there.

And I realised, too, that I feel differently, as I listen to it now… Continue reading ““I’m not in love…””

Following the Herd

I was at a CIPD Sussex Branch Conference on the Future of Work yesterday which was excellent.

One of the speakers, Leatham Green (whose session I really enjoyed) showed a couple of short, very funny and thought-provoking YouTube clips about how we copy other people’s behaviour even if we don’t know why or it doesn’t make any sense. I’ve written about this phenomenon before in my post: The Psychology of Unwritten Rules’.

I thought I’d share these clips with you now because I really like them and hope that you will, too – the first is just under 4 minutes and the second just 2½ minutes – and I think both are well worth taking the time to watch for the entertainment value alone.

The first one is a social experiment:

Continue reading “Following the Herd”

“Ageing is a Privilege.”

This is a quote from author Amanda Prowse which I heard recently on Channel 5’s ‘The Wright Stuff’.

She talks a lot of sense, and you can tell I liked what I heard that day as she also features in my previous blog ‘All Her Possessions Fit Into One Carry-on Suitcase?’ syringe-1973129_1920

On this occasion she also talked about ageing. She’d noticed how much time (and money) she was spending dyeing her hair and getting Botox injections – all to avoid signs of growing older. Continue reading ““Ageing is a Privilege.””

Thinking About Thoughts

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“The thought manifests as the word;

the word manifests as the deed;

the deed develops into habit;

and habit hardens into character.

So watch the thought and its ways with care,

and let it spring from love

born out of concern for all beings.”

Buddha

One (small?) step at a time…

Change can feel hard.

The prospect of putting in the necessary work can make us feel tired, just thinking about it.

What we want for the future can seem a long way off from where we are now. Continue reading “One (small?) step at a time…”

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