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Whole People

coaching, counselling and training in Worthing (UK) and online with Pat Spink

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connecting person to person

I’m so happy for you… (or am I?!)

Why is it sometimes so hard for us to feel genuinely happy for other people in our lives when they achieve success or something really lovely or lucky happens for them?

Do we smile, but through gritted teeth?

adult-attraction-background-1322157 (1).jpgHow do we feel when we look at this photo, for example?

Do we smile along with the person in it?

Or think she might be showing off?

Or wonder if she wants to ‘rub it in’ that she can afford the money and the time to be where she is, having fun, and we can’t?

In my experience, envy or jealousy doesn’t happen every time – but sometimes it does…

And what does it say about us if we feel a twinge?

Does that mean that we’re a bad person?

Or does it just mean that we’re human? Continue reading “I’m so happy for you… (or am I?!)”

Conversations About Cancer

I wrote about how we talk about cancer previously in my blog: She died after losing her battle with cancer…

conversation-1262311_1280.pngAnd I see it’s been in the news again recently.

Evidence suggests that the words we use can land very differently with different people.

Some people find words such as ‘fight’, ‘struggle’, ‘warrior’ and ‘battle’ motivating, whilst for others they will have precisely the opposite effect. Continue reading “Conversations About Cancer”

Tibetan Wisdom

 

To kick off the New Year with some reflection.

From an unknown original source, I think this list contains a lot of good sense and some food for thought:

buddha-1716251_1920

Continue reading “Tibetan Wisdom”

Why I Like Watching Christmas Movies

christmas films.png

If you’ve read any of my previous blogs relating to Christmas (such as Christmas Presents an Issue’ or ‘Something they want … or an IOU?’) you might be somewhat surprised at the title here.

I do struggle with the commercialisation, the social/emotional pressure to be with people with whom we might not choose to spend our time, to do things (in a way) that might not sit comfortably, for everything to be ‘perfect’, the false ‘bonhomie’, and so on….

So why do I enjoy watching Christmas films?

I think I’ve finally peeled away the layers and figured it out – and what I enjoy about them actually has little to do with Christmas as such… Continue reading “Why I Like Watching Christmas Movies”

Inspirational Introverts

First ManThis week I went to see ‘First Man’ – the film about Neil Armstrong, the first man to step onto the moon.

I really enjoyed it.

By all accounts Armstrong was most definitely an introvert – and this was certainly how Ryan Gosling portrayed him.

I’d like to think this was close to the truth of the man because I liked what I saw – someone who was thoughtful, humble and gentle and who didn’t waste words, speaking only when he had something to say. Continue reading “Inspirational Introverts”

Finding our way out of the grey…

Back in June I posted this on Instagram:

tunnel and light.png

I really like what Hayley Williams said here.

Despite the substantial progress we’ve made in recent years, I think many of us still struggle with talking about mental illness – which is why we talk about ‘mental health’ instead?

And, like Williams, I think we do tend to polarise the issue – categorising ourselves and others as either completely healthy or sick – but surely there’s a whole lot of space in between these?

Continue reading “Finding our way out of the grey…”

CLANGERS for all…!!!

CLANGERS

I saw Dr Phil Hammond (doctor and comedian) on TV recently. I love this concept of his – simple and memorable.

As he says:

“The daily habits of healthy, happy people are easy to say but harder to do. Try to do your daily CLANGERS, and help others to do theirs. Changes in lifestyle are far more powerful than any drug we have to offer.” Continue reading “CLANGERS for all…!!!”

“Get off the gift-giving treadmill…”

So says Martin Lewis in his latest post on the subject of unnecessary Christmas presents (it’s only 3 minutes and worth a view):

“Zero sum giving”, “tit-for-tat giving” where, as he says, we end up with less money or in debt – and with ‘tat’ we don’t want or need….

This is just the right time to start having those conversations, before you go off to the shops or online to buy them.

If you need any more convincing, see also my previous blogs such as:

Christmas Presents an Issue?

Something they want … or an IOU?

‘To Wrap, or Not to Wrap?’ – that is the question...

Alone or Lonely?

alone or lonely

On one of my seafront walks recently I noticed someone sitting by themselves on the beach, gazing out to sea – much like the person in the photo here.

Given my particular interest in suicide prevention I needed to make a judgement call as to whether this person seemed in distress and, if so, whether I would approach them. In this case they seemed just fine.

But it started me thinking – they were there alone, perhaps by choice, but maybe not.

Continue reading “Alone or Lonely?”

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