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coaching, counselling and training in Worthing (UK) and online with Pat Spink

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connecting person to person

Disrupted lives – what next?

Our lives and our world have been well and truly disrupted by coronavirus and all that it entails.

We have each been living our own ‘temporary normal’ in order to survive and cope.

Many are already talking about what our ‘new normal’ will look like afterwards.

All we do know, for sure, is that no-one is unaffected and that we can’t go back – we can only go forward. Continue reading “Disrupted lives – what next?”

We’re NOT all in the same boat…

I heard a great quote yesterday – not sure who said it first but it was along these lines re the current pandemic:

“We’re NOT all in the same boat,

we’re all in the same storm,

but in different boats.

Some are relaxing in luxury yachts,

others are in rickety old rust buckets, letting in water, having to bail it out

and, of course, everything in between …”

The truth of this really struck me in terms of how differently we’re each experiencing this current situation. Continue reading “We’re NOT all in the same boat…”

Today is World Introvert Day

This is from an internet search I did yesterday:

It’s my experience that the (Western) world has been shaped mostly by extraverts and that, consequently, those of us who identify more with the traits of introversion, or are on the cusp between the two (ambiverts), can find it a tough place to navigate at times.

In her book ‘Quiet‘ (which I love), Susan Cain talks about the different levels of stimulation required, and able to be tolerated, by introverts and extraverts and the ‘extrovert ideal’. She quotes William White:

“Society is itself an education in the extrovert values,

and rarely has there been a society that has preached them so hard.

No man is an island, but how John Donne would writhe to hear how often, 

and for what reasons,

the thought is so tiresomely repeated.” Continue reading “Today is World Introvert Day”

Sticks and stones – and the power of words…

I’m thinking today about this old adage which used to be chanted by children in the playground:

“Sticks and stones may break my bones

but words will never hurt me.”

I know differently now, of course – unkind words can really hurt a person.

And, by the same token, that a kind word or two can be really healing, too. Continue reading “Sticks and stones – and the power of words…”

Black Friday Blues?

What did you do yesterday?black-friday-2901754_1920

Now known internationally as ‘Black Friday’.

Were you out at the shops searching for bargains?

Surfing the web?

Suck(er)ed into buying something you didn’t want or need by a carefully-targeted and tempting enticement from a previously-visited or a favourite website?

Are you experiencing ‘buyer’s remorse’ about any of your purchases?

Whilst the timing of this message is targeted towards those of us who celebrate, mark or ‘suffer’ Christmas as we know it today, it is part of the much wider movement that asks us to each reflect on our consumerism overall and its effect on not only the environment, but also on our own personal finances and happiness – and how what we do affects other people, too.

Whatever you did or didn’t do yesterday, we all have the choice today to do something different(ly) in the run up to Christmas this year, and from hereon in… Continue reading “Black Friday Blues?”

Success – on whose terms?

I’ve been thinking about this quite a bit lately.

The stories we tell ourselves about our own lives….

What we say, how we ‘report’ our lives, when we speak to people we haven’t seen for a while and they ask us what we’re up to these days…

Does it feel like we have to ‘put on a show’ and that we’re in a competition that we’re losing more often than not..?

For example, what do we say when someone asks “What did you get up to this weekend?” Have you ever been tempted to ‘guild the lily’ a little to appear more active and interesting than you think the truth might sound? I know I have… face-with-tears-of-joy_1f602

And what does success in one area of our life cost us in another?

Hence some of my recent Instagram posts:

success - what did you have to give upstrengths presupposes energy channeled from other areas

Continue reading “Success – on whose terms?”

I’m so happy for you… (or am I?!)

Why is it sometimes so hard for us to feel genuinely happy for other people in our lives when they achieve success or something really lovely or lucky happens for them?

Do we smile, but through gritted teeth?

adult-attraction-background-1322157 (1).jpgHow do we feel when we look at this photo, for example?

Do we smile along with the person in it?

Or think she might be showing off?

Or wonder if she wants to ‘rub it in’ that she can afford the money and the time to be where she is, having fun, and we can’t?

In my experience, envy or jealousy doesn’t happen every time – but sometimes it does…

And what does it say about us if we feel a twinge?

Does that mean that we’re a bad person?

Or does it just mean that we’re human? Continue reading “I’m so happy for you… (or am I?!)”

Conversations About Cancer

I wrote about how we talk about cancer previously in my blog: She died after losing her battle with cancer…

conversation-1262311_1280.pngAnd I see it’s been in the news again recently.

Evidence suggests that the words we use can land very differently with different people.

Some people find words such as ‘fight’, ‘struggle’, ‘warrior’ and ‘battle’ motivating, whilst for others they will have precisely the opposite effect. Continue reading “Conversations About Cancer”

Tibetan Wisdom

 

To kick off the New Year with some reflection.

From an unknown original source, I think this list contains a lot of good sense and some food for thought:

buddha-1716251_1920

Continue reading “Tibetan Wisdom”

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