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coaching, counselling and training in Worthing (UK) and online with Pat Spink

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Success – on whose terms?

I’ve been thinking about this quite a bit lately.

The stories we tell ourselves about our own lives….

What we say, how we ‘report’ our lives, when we speak to people we haven’t seen for a while and they ask us what we’re up to these days…

Does it feel like we have to ‘put on a show’ and that we’re in a competition that we’re losing more often than not..?

For example, what do we say when someone asks “What did you get up to this weekend?” Have you ever been tempted to ‘guild the lily’ a little to appear more active and interesting than you think the truth might sound? I know I have… face-with-tears-of-joy_1f602

And what does success in one area of our life cost us in another?

Hence some of my recent Instagram posts:

success - what did you have to give upstrengths presupposes energy channeled from other areas

Continue reading “Success – on whose terms?”

“A few years ago I would have been admiring the view – now I’m on my phone…”

smartphonesThis was a quote from a member of the public broadcast on BBC Breakfast this morning in a report about our seemingly ever-increasing addiction to smartphones in the UK.

Another interviewee said that she thought smartphones had: “made my life better but children’s lives worse.”

According to the latest report from telecoms regulator Ofcom, and about which there’s a good article at bbc.co.uk:

  • 78% of all adults in the UK now own a smartphone
  • 40% of us look at them within five minutes of waking
  • the average Brit checks their phone every 12 minutes while awake and uses it for about 2½ hours each day
  • a third of us check them just before falling asleep

This last one isn’t a great habit if we want to sleep well, by the way – see my blog last month re our use of apps and the effects of blue light.

How we use our phones may also have changed – the report says the total volume of calls fell in 2017.

But maybe that’s not quite the whole story – what the report didn’t track were the calls made using apps such as Skype, WhatsApp and Facebook Messenger instead.

So where are we headed? Continue reading ““A few years ago I would have been admiring the view – now I’m on my phone…””

Discerning Disclosure

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How much do you think about, or notice, the information you give other people or organisations – verbally, or in written or electronic form?

Do you know what they know about you or what they do with that information?

This issue has been highlighted in the news recently regarding Facebook and Cambridge Analytica.

Continue reading “Discerning Disclosure”

We all love a good gossip – don’t we?

gossip.png

And what’s the harm – really?

If I only tell one person, then that’s OK isn’t it…?

Or should I try and be ‘good’ and not indulge at all?

And when does talking about someone else become gossip, anyway?

One of my counselling tutors used to quote an old Yiddish proverb:

“Gossip hurts 3 people:

  • The one who gossips
  • The one talked about
  • The who listens and now has ‘guilty knowledge’ “

Continue reading “We all love a good gossip – don’t we?”

How Much ‘Stuff’ is Enough? The Naked Truth!

The UK Channel 4 programme ‘Life Stripped Bare’ which was broadcast in July created some debate as to whether the nakedness of the participants was necessary or gratuitous.

movers-24403_640The premise was “… What happens when three young households have all their belongings taken away?…”. It’s still on All 4 at the moment, and various clips from the programme can also be found on YouTube (see links below). Continue reading “How Much ‘Stuff’ is Enough? The Naked Truth!”

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