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group behaviour

The Parable of the Long-Handled Spoons

I was chatting with a friend recently about how we’re all coping with living with restrictions at the moment because of the current pandemic.

Of course, whilst some of what we’re each doing is to protect ourselves, there’s also the aspect of protecting and caring for others.

Wearing masks is a good example.

This reminded me of The Parable of the Long-Handled Spoons – a very simple tale that illustrates how we can create harmony or misery for ourselves, depending on how much we help and support each other – or not.

If you’ve not heard of this and/or would like a quick reminder, this short video (just 4 minutes) gives you the gist:

Continue reading “The Parable of the Long-Handled Spoons” →

Hello! Will we ever shake hands again?

When we went into lockdown we all stopped doing this – some of us had stopped even before that.

It’s something we have tended to do here in the UK – in business and socially.

Maybe it’s a generational thing (I’m in my 60s) and perhaps it’s also more prevalent amongst men than women – although, in my experience, lots of women (in a work context, at least) used to shake hands, too.

A handshake seems like a small gesture, but maybe it represents quite a lot? Continue reading “Hello! Will we ever shake hands again?” →

“Get off the gift-giving treadmill…”

So says Martin Lewis in his latest post on the subject of unnecessary Christmas presents (it’s only 3 minutes and worth a view):

“Zero sum giving”, “tit-for-tat giving” where, as he says, we end up with less money or in debt – and with ‘tat’ we don’t want or need….

This is just the right time to start having those conversations, before you go off to the shops or online to buy them.

If you need any more convincing, see also my previous blogs such as:

Christmas Presents an Issue?

Something they want … or an IOU?

‘To Wrap, or Not to Wrap?’ – that is the question...

“A few years ago I would have been admiring the view – now I’m on my phone…”

smartphonesThis was a quote from a member of the public broadcast on BBC Breakfast this morning in a report about our seemingly ever-increasing addiction to smartphones in the UK.

Another interviewee said that she thought smartphones had: “made my life better but children’s lives worse.”

According to the latest report from telecoms regulator Ofcom, and about which there’s a good article at bbc.co.uk:

  • 78% of all adults in the UK now own a smartphone
  • 40% of us look at them within five minutes of waking
  • the average Brit checks their phone every 12 minutes while awake and uses it for about 2½ hours each day
  • a third of us check them just before falling asleep

This last one isn’t a great habit if we want to sleep well, by the way – see my blog last month re our use of apps and the effects of blue light.

How we use our phones may also have changed – the report says the total volume of calls fell in 2017.

But maybe that’s not quite the whole story – what the report didn’t track were the calls made using apps such as Skype, WhatsApp and Facebook Messenger instead.

So where are we headed? Continue reading ““A few years ago I would have been admiring the view – now I’m on my phone…”” →

We all love a good gossip – don’t we?

gossip.png

And what’s the harm – really?

If I only tell one person, then that’s OK isn’t it…?

Or should I try and be ‘good’ and not indulge at all?

And when does talking about someone else become gossip, anyway?

One of my counselling tutors used to quote an old Yiddish proverb:

“Gossip hurts 3 people:

  • The one who gossips
  • The one talked about
  • The who listens and now has ‘guilty knowledge’ “

Continue reading “We all love a good gossip – don’t we?” →

Following the Herd

I was at a CIPD Sussex Branch Conference on the Future of Work yesterday which was excellent.

One of the speakers, Leatham Green (whose session I really enjoyed) showed a couple of short, very funny and thought-provoking YouTube clips about how we copy other people’s behaviour even if we don’t know why or it doesn’t make any sense. I’ve written about this phenomenon before in my post: ‘The Psychology of Unwritten Rules’.

I thought I’d share these clips with you now because I really like them and hope that you will, too – the first is just under 4 minutes and the second just 2½ minutes – and I think both are well worth taking the time to watch for the entertainment value alone.

The first one is a social experiment:

Continue reading “Following the Herd” →

“Ageing is a Privilege.”

This is a quote from author Amanda Prowse which I heard recently on Channel 5’s ‘The Wright Stuff’.

She talks a lot of sense, and you can tell I liked what I heard that day as she also features in my previous blog ‘All Her Possessions Fit Into One Carry-on Suitcase?’.  syringe-1973129_1920

On this occasion she also talked about ageing. She’d noticed how much time (and money) she was spending dyeing her hair and getting Botox injections – all to avoid signs of growing older. Continue reading ““Ageing is a Privilege.”” →

Making a Difference

“While wandering a deserted beach at dawn, stagnant in my work, I saw a man in the distance bending and throwing as he walked the endless stretch toward me.

As he came near, I could see that he was throwing starfish, abandoned on the sand by the tide, back into the sea.

When he was close enough I asked him why he was working so hard at this strange task. He said that the sun would dry the starfish and they would die.

I said to him that I thought he was foolish. There were thousands of starfish on miles and miles of beach. One man alone could never make a difference.

starfishHe smiled as he picked up the next starfish. Hurling it far into the sea he said, “It makes a difference for this one.”

I abandoned my writing and spent the morning throwing starfish.”  

This story by Loren Eisley has been told in lots of different ways and places and I love it. It fits so well with my beliefs that:

“Just do it!”

Why is it

I came across this Henry Ford quote again recently and it made me smile.

It reminds me of the times I’ve asked or paid someone else to do a specific job for me and then been really annoyed (rather than grateful) when they pointed out something I hadn’t noticed or suggested it might be done differently for a better result. Continue reading ““Just do it!”” →

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