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Whole People

coaching, counselling and training in Worthing (UK) and online with Pat Spink

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resilience

Making a Difference

“While wandering a deserted beach at dawn, stagnant in my work, I saw a man in the distance bending and throwing as he walked the endless stretch toward me.

As he came near, I could see that he was throwing starfish, abandoned on the sand by the tide, back into the sea.

When he was close enough I asked him why he was working so hard at this strange task. He said that the sun would dry the starfish and they would die.

I said to him that I thought he was foolish. There were thousands of starfish on miles and miles of beach. One man alone could never make a difference.

starfishHe smiled as he picked up the next starfish. Hurling it far into the sea he said, “It makes a difference for this one.”

I abandoned my writing and spent the morning throwing starfish.”  

This story by Loren Eisley has been told in lots of different ways and places and I love it. It fits so well with my beliefs that:

Thinking About Thoughts

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“The thought manifests as the word;

the word manifests as the deed;

the deed develops into habit;

and habit hardens into character.

So watch the thought and its ways with care,

and let it spring from love

born out of concern for all beings.”

Buddha

One (small?) step at a time…

Change can feel hard.

The prospect of putting in the necessary work can make us feel tired, just thinking about it.

What we want for the future can seem a long way off from where we are now. Continue reading “One (small?) step at a time…”

The Support (We Think) People Want or Need During Difficult Times

“Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”

Commonly known as ‘The Golden Rule’, versions of this sentiment can be found in many cultures and religious and moral frameworks.

It has a strong humanitarian message and seems to work well in a lot of situations.

However, the underlying assumption is that the treatment or behaviour we want or expect from others is the same as they would want from us – and there’s the rub. Continue reading “The Support (We Think) People Want or Need During Difficult Times”

How Do Men (and Boys) Grieve?

Last month’s BBC documentary ‘Rio Ferdinand: being Mum and Dad’ was very powerful, I thought. It’s currently on YouTube:

Continue reading “How Do Men (and Boys) Grieve?”

Single by Choice?

emotiguy-1723748_1280I came across an article recently challenging the assumption that everyone should either be in a relationship, or looking for one:

‘There’s a Word for the Assumption That Everybody Should be in a Relationship’ by Drake Baer. Continue reading “Single by Choice?”

“Ma’am, you look like you’re having a bad day. Can I give you a hug?”

I was really touched by this story in the Mail Online yesterday.

It’s about a bus driver, Damone Hudson from Dayton, Ohio, who was driving over a bridge and saw a woman on the wrong side of the railings. He stopped his bus and got out to talk to her.

He stayed with her until the police arrived to take her to safety and, hopefully, to get some appropriate help. Continue reading ““Ma’am, you look like you’re having a bad day. Can I give you a hug?””

Compare and Despair

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TV and radio host Fearne Cotton talked openly this week about her own depression in a short (only 3½ minutes) BBC podcast

I was particularly struck by what she said about us “… doing that awful compare and despair sort of thing…” Continue reading “Compare and Despair”

Simply Enough

How much – or, how little – do we need? How much do we want?

How much (of anything) is ‘enough’?

Last year I wrote about the UK Channel 4 programme ‘Life Stripped Bare’Simplifying and de-cluttering are topics that crop up fairly regularly these days and we might think they’re a recent phenomenon fuelled by trends inspired by TV programmes and self-help books.

But not so – I found this in ‘On the Shortness of Life’ by Seneca, the Roman philosopher and statesman (c.5BC-AD65) translated by C.D.N. Costa: Continue reading “Simply Enough”

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