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coaching, counselling and training in Worthing (UK) and online with Pat Spink

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resilience

The Support (We Think) People Want or Need During Difficult Times

“Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”

Commonly known as ‘The Golden Rule’, versions of this sentiment can be found in many cultures and religious and moral frameworks.

It has a strong humanitarian message and seems to work well in a lot of situations.

However, the underlying assumption is that the treatment or behaviour we want or expect from others is the same as they would want from us – and there’s the rub. Continue reading “The Support (We Think) People Want or Need During Difficult Times”

How Do Men (and Boys) Grieve?

Last month’s BBC documentary ‘Rio Ferdinand: being Mum and Dad’ was very powerful, I thought. It’s currently on YouTube:

Continue reading “How Do Men (and Boys) Grieve?”

Single by Choice?

emotiguy-1723748_1280I came across an article recently challenging the assumption that everyone should either be in a relationship, or looking for one:

‘There’s a Word for the Assumption That Everybody Should be in a Relationship’ by Drake Baer. Continue reading “Single by Choice?”

“Ma’am, you look like you’re having a bad day. Can I give you a hug?”

I was really touched by this story in the Mail Online yesterday.

It’s about a bus driver, Damone Hudson from Dayton, Ohio, who was driving over a bridge and saw a woman on the wrong side of the railings. He stopped his bus and got out to talk to her.

He stayed with her until the police arrived to take her to safety and, hopefully, to get some appropriate help. Continue reading ““Ma’am, you look like you’re having a bad day. Can I give you a hug?””

Compare and Despair

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TV and radio host Fearne Cotton talked openly this week about her own depression in a short (only 3½ minutes) BBC podcast

I was particularly struck by what she said about us “… doing that awful compare and despair sort of thing…” Continue reading “Compare and Despair”

Simply Enough

How much – or, how little – do we need? How much do we want?

How much (of anything) is ‘enough’?

Last year I wrote about the UK Channel 4 programme ‘Life Stripped Bare’Simplifying and de-cluttering are topics that crop up fairly regularly these days and we might think they’re a recent phenomenon fuelled by trends inspired by TV programmes and self-help books.

But not so – I found this in ‘On the Shortness of Life’ by Seneca, the Roman philosopher and statesman (c.5BC-AD65) translated by C.D.N. Costa: Continue reading “Simply Enough”

Blue Monday … ?

numbers-1768348_640How is 2017 going for you?

I’m writing this on ‘Blue Monday’, the third Monday in January.emoticon-937608_1280

According to Caroline Webb’s article in The Telegraph, those of us who are in the UK today are “experiencing the bleakest day of the year … so named for its potent combination of cold nights and post-Christmas melancholy.” Continue reading “Blue Monday … ?”

Friends for a Reason, a Season or a Lifetime?

friends-1013856_640If you’ve been writing Christmas cards or sending e-cards, emails, texts or other Christmas and New Year messages recently you may well have been thinking about friends – who you’ve been in touch with this year, and who you haven’t.

What does ‘friendship’ mean to you? Does it mean the same to your friends? Continue reading “Friends for a Reason, a Season or a Lifetime?”

Five Ways to Wellbeing

‘Five ways to wellbeing’ was developed by NEF and is currently being promoted by Mind, the UK mental health charity. Simply put, it’s a framework to help us look after our mental and emotional health:

  • Connect – with other people, a fundamental human need
  • Be active – physical activity helps our mental and emotional state, as well as our bodies
  • Take notice – of what’s going on around you, now
  • Keep learning – learning new things helps keep us engaged and active
  • Give – doing something to help someone else makes us feel good

Continue reading “Five Ways to Wellbeing”

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