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Whole People

coaching, counselling and training in Worthing (UK) and online with Pat Spink

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death

Missing You

On the topic of missing people who have died, at just over 3 minutes, I think Hussain Manawer performing ‘The White Rose’, his poem about the loss of his mother is worth a watch:

She died after losing her battle with cancer…

This was the news this month re Dame Tessa Jowell, a former UK Cabinet Minister.

Almost without exception, the media coverage I heard and read talked about her ‘losing her battle with cancer’ or her ‘brain cancer fight’.

These words bother me.

I’ve wondered for quite a while now whether when we talk about cancer in this way we put pressure on everyone who receives a similar diagnosis to ‘fight’.

And, then, when they do die, the implication seems to be that they’ve somehow ‘lost’ or ‘failed’ – and maybe didn’t try hard enough… Continue reading “She died after losing her battle with cancer…”

The Support (We Think) People Want or Need During Difficult Times

“Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”

Commonly known as ‘The Golden Rule’, versions of this sentiment can be found in many cultures and religious and moral frameworks.

It has a strong humanitarian message and seems to work well in a lot of situations.

However, the underlying assumption is that the treatment or behaviour we want or expect from others is the same as they would want from us – and there’s the rub. Continue reading “The Support (We Think) People Want or Need During Difficult Times”

What Really Matters at the End of Life

As you may know, I work at our local hospice with people who are been bereaved, and with people who are anticipating bereavement. Because of this, as well as because of my own personal experiences of death of friends and family, I was interested to hear what B J Miller has to say in this TED talk. Continue reading “What Really Matters at the End of Life”

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