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Whole People

coaching, counselling and training in Worthing (UK) and online with Pat Spink

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She died after losing her battle with cancer…

This was the news this month re Dame Tessa Jowell, a former UK Cabinet Minister.

Almost without exception, the media coverage I heard and read talked about her ‘losing her battle with cancer’ or her ‘brain cancer fight’.

These words bother me.

I’ve wondered for quite a while now whether when we talk about cancer in this way we put pressure on everyone who receives a similar diagnosis to ‘fight’.

And, then, when they do die, the implication seems to be that they’ve somehow ‘lost’ or ‘failed’ – and maybe didn’t try hard enough… Continue reading “She died after losing her battle with cancer…”

‘Life Stripped Bare’ – another chance to see it

movers-24403_640I wrote about this UK Channel 4 Series back in 2016 in my blog How Much ‘Stuff’ is Enough? The Naked Truth!.

If you missed it and you’d like to see it, it’s being repeated – starting tomorrow, Monday 28th May, at 11pm.

Enjoy!

Everybody Hurts

It’s that time of year again – my ‘guilty pleasure’ Britain’s Got Talent is back on ITV in the UK. winking-face_1f609

I caught up on the audition stages last week and was incredibly touched by Father Ray Kelly’s rendition of the R.E.M. classic (a 7 minute clip including his introduction to the panel before he sings):

Discerning Disclosure

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How much do you think about, or notice, the information you give other people or organisations – verbally, or in written or electronic form?

Do you know what they know about you or what they do with that information?

This issue has been highlighted in the news recently regarding Facebook and Cambridge Analytica.

Continue reading “Discerning Disclosure”

A Paltry (or Paltery?) Excuse…

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A friend recently shared a BBC article with me on ‘paltering’ which, according to the Oxford English Dictionary, means to:

“Equivocate or prevaricate in action or speech.”

Or, as we might say, to:

“avoid answering the question that has been asked.”

Is this, in effect, lying?

And why do we do it? Continue reading “A Paltry (or Paltery?) Excuse…”

We all love a good gossip – don’t we?

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And what’s the harm – really?

If I only tell one person, then that’s OK isn’t it…?

Or should I try and be ‘good’ and not indulge at all?

And when does talking about someone else become gossip, anyway?

One of my counselling tutors used to quote an old Yiddish proverb:

“Gossip hurts 3 people:

  • The one who gossips
  • The one talked about
  • The who listens and now has ‘guilty knowledge’ “

Continue reading “We all love a good gossip – don’t we?”

In 2018 I want to…

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Continuing one of the themes from my last blog and, particularly, some of the sentiments in ‘the Hot Chocolate Story’ at the end. I’m inviting you to take a slightly different route into planning your goals for 2018 than what you might have done before.

Instead of starting with a list what you haven’t got or achieved, how about starting the process with a list of what you have got, what you have achieved in 2017 (or earlier) and what you like or love about your life right now? Continue reading “In 2018 I want to…”

‘To Wrap or Not to Wrap?’ – that is the question…

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This morning my street is lined with wheelie bins as the first post-Christmas rubbish and recycling collection is due.

I wonder how much of the contents will be wrapping paper.

Apparently, a recent survey found that half of us in Britain would be happy to receive presents unwrapped in order to cut down on waste.

This is about saving on paper, recycling and saving the planet – and for many of us, now, this extends to doing away with physical Christmas cards, too.

Of course, it’s too late to change what we did for Christmas this year, but a good time to think about what we might want to do differently in 2018. Continue reading “‘To Wrap or Not to Wrap?’ – that is the question…”

Are You an Orchid or a Dandelion?

orchid-2265587_1920Orchids are beautiful but sensitive flowers.dandelion-16656_1920

They require protection and nurturing to blossom.

On the other hand, Dandelions can thrive virtually anywhere.

I came across this way of explaining how some of us develop differently from others when I was catching up on old episodes of Channel 4’s ‘The Secret Life of 4 Year Olds’.

It’s based on a Swedish metaphor: ‘amaskrosbarn’, a “dandelion child” and ‘orkidebarn’, an “orchid child.”  Continue reading “Are You an Orchid or a Dandelion?”

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