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Whole People

coaching, counselling and training in Worthing (UK) and online with Pat Spink

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Today is World Introvert Day

This is from an internet search I did yesterday:

It’s my experience that the (Western) world has been shaped mostly by extraverts and that, consequently, those of us who identify more with the traits of introversion, or are on the cusp between the two (ambiverts), can find it a tough place to navigate at times.

In her book ‘Quiet‘ (which I love), Susan Cain talks about the different levels of stimulation required, and able to be tolerated, by introverts and extraverts and the ‘extrovert ideal’. She quotes William White:

“Society is itself an education in the extrovert values,

and rarely has there been a society that has preached them so hard.

No man is an island, but how John Donne would writhe to hear how often, 

and for what reasons,

the thought is so tiresomely repeated.” Continue reading “Today is World Introvert Day”

Sticks and stones – and the power of words…

I’m thinking today about this old adage which used to be chanted by children in the playground:

“Sticks and stones may break my bones

but words will never hurt me.”

I know differently now, of course – unkind words can really hurt a person.

And, by the same token, that a kind word or two can be really healing, too. Continue reading “Sticks and stones – and the power of words…”

Black Friday Blues?

What did you do yesterday?black-friday-2901754_1920

Now known internationally as ‘Black Friday’.

Were you out at the shops searching for bargains?

Surfing the web?

Suck(er)ed into buying something you didn’t want or need by a carefully-targeted and tempting enticement from a previously-visited or a favourite website?

Are you experiencing ‘buyer’s remorse’ about any of your purchases?

Whilst the timing of this message is targeted towards those of us who celebrate, mark or ‘suffer’ Christmas as we know it today, it is part of the much wider movement that asks us to each reflect on our consumerism overall and its effect on not only the environment, but also on our own personal finances and happiness – and how what we do affects other people, too.

Whatever you did or didn’t do yesterday, we all have the choice today to do something different(ly) in the run up to Christmas this year, and from hereon in… Continue reading “Black Friday Blues?”

What is a Toy?

I was fascinated this week when I saw a report on BBC Breakfast about a ‘back to basics’ experiment in a UK nursery which, it’s reported, has stimulated creativity and improved communication amongst the children involved (especially the boys, apparently) – and decluttering the rooms in the process. I also found an article about it in the Mail Online (published back in March of this year).

Matt Caldwell, the Head of the nursery was, apparently, inspired by similar schemes in Germany which replaced plastic toys with everyday items and real size objects – so, for example, instead of a miniature/child-size/toy version of a musical instrument, they would have an adult-sized, real one to explore.egg-carton-575692_1280

lavender ovalOther items were day-to-day objects such as kettles, bottle tops, egg boxes, corks, pine cones, conkers, lavender and pots.

The backs were taken off electrical items so the children could see how they were constructed. Continue reading “What is a Toy?”

What’s in your garden?

We’re coming, now, towards the end of the summer in the UK.

Many of you may have spent time enjoying your own garden this summer, if you have one – or someone else’s garden, or a public park or beach-side garden, perhaps?  

This is a light-hearted look at what might be in that garden – what draws you, where you regain balance and perspective, perhaps – based upon your MBTI personality type and preferences.

Do you recognise yourself, or your favourite (place in the) garden here?

I certainly do!!  smiley-147407_1280 Continue reading “What’s in your garden?”

Success – on whose terms?

I’ve been thinking about this quite a bit lately.

The stories we tell ourselves about our own lives….

What we say, how we ‘report’ our lives, when we speak to people we haven’t seen for a while and they ask us what we’re up to these days…

Does it feel like we have to ‘put on a show’ and that we’re in a competition that we’re losing more often than not..?

For example, what do we say when someone asks “What did you get up to this weekend?” Have you ever been tempted to ‘guild the lily’ a little to appear more active and interesting than you think the truth might sound? I know I have… face-with-tears-of-joy_1f602

And what does success in one area of our life cost us in another?

Hence some of my recent Instagram posts:

success - what did you have to give upstrengths presupposes energy channeled from other areas

Continue reading “Success – on whose terms?”

Attenborough on Plastic at Glastonbury 2019

I wasn’t at Glastonbury this weekend, but I did see a recording of Sir David Attenbourough’s spot.

He’s amazing – so respected – able to hold the attention of such a large crowd, many of whom were 70 or more years younger than himself – that’s no mean feat!

He’s lost none of his energy and passion – yet, I think he delivers what he says in an understated but serious manner – without talking down to anyone.

A great role model, not only for what he’s doing for us all and the planet, but also for any of us who might be wondering how we might be/behave in our own later years perhaps ..?

If you missed it, here’s a recording I found – it’s less than 4 minutes:

Plus a great comic-style article which a friend sent me recently which you might like, too – click here.

He took it in his stride – literally!

Lukas Bates completed the London Marathon in a very respectable time this week (3hrs, 54m, 21s) and all whilst wearing a fancy dress costume of the London landmark: the Elizabeth Tower, which houses Big Ben.

What hit the news, though, was that his costume was too tall for him to get underneath the frame at the finish line without some help:

This made me smile for several reasons. Continue reading “He took it in his stride – literally!”

I’m so happy for you… (or am I?!)

Why is it sometimes so hard for us to feel genuinely happy for other people in our lives when they achieve success or something really lovely or lucky happens for them?

Do we smile, but through gritted teeth?

adult-attraction-background-1322157 (1).jpgHow do we feel when we look at this photo, for example?

Do we smile along with the person in it?

Or think she might be showing off?

Or wonder if she wants to ‘rub it in’ that she can afford the money and the time to be where she is, having fun, and we can’t?

In my experience, envy or jealousy doesn’t happen every time – but sometimes it does…

And what does it say about us if we feel a twinge?

Does that mean that we’re a bad person?

Or does it just mean that we’re human? Continue reading “I’m so happy for you… (or am I?!)”

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