Search

Whole People

coaching, counselling and training in Worthing (UK) and online with Pat Spink

Category

loneliness

Introverts – time to re-engage – or not?

For any introverts out there who might not have hated lockdown quite as much as their extravert friends and colleagues.

Perhaps you’ve enjoyed the reduced social interaction, invitations and demands and welcomed the opportunity for some (permitted/unchallenged) solitude.

Maybe lockdown has given you the time and space to find some calm within the storm, reconnect with yourself, draw breath, re-centre, adjust your pace of life.

In my experience, not everyone appreciates the difference between loneliness and solitude – and that solitude is something that a lot of us need from time to time and that we value.

So you might be feeling a little guilty or embarrassed – or fear being labelled by friends and family as rather unsociable, depressed or lazy if you’re not rushing to meet up again in person…

You’re not alone in this (even if you’d prefer be – ha ha!) and you might appreciate hearing from a couple of other people who feel similarly. Continue reading “Introverts – time to re-engage – or not?”

We’re NOT all in the same boat…

I heard a great quote yesterday – not sure who said it first but it was along these lines re the current pandemic:

“We’re NOT all in the same boat,

we’re all in the same storm,

but in different boats.

Some are relaxing in luxury yachts,

others are in rickety old rust buckets, letting in water, having to bail it out

and, of course, everything in between …”

The truth of this really struck me in terms of how differently we’re each experiencing this current situation. Continue reading “We’re NOT all in the same boat…”

Alone or Lonely?

alone or lonely

On one of my seafront walks recently I noticed someone sitting by themselves on the beach, gazing out to sea – much like the person in the photo here.

Given my particular interest in suicide prevention I needed to make a judgement call as to whether this person seemed in distress and, if so, whether I would approach them. In this case they seemed just fine.

But it started me thinking – they were there alone, perhaps by choice, but maybe not.

Continue reading “Alone or Lonely?”

Everybody Hurts

It’s that time of year again – my ‘guilty pleasure’ Britain’s Got Talent is back on ITV in the UK. winking-face_1f609

I caught up on the audition stages last week and was incredibly touched by Father Ray Kelly’s rendition of the R.E.M. classic (a 7 minute clip including his introduction to the panel before he sings):

Wild Geese

formation-508038_1920

At the end of a course I attended recently, the trainer read us a poem by Mary Oliver: ‘Wild Geese’.

I think it’s beautiful and would like to share it with you: Continue reading “Wild Geese”

Compare and Despair

directory-466935_1280

TV and radio host Fearne Cotton talked openly this week about her own depression in a short (only 3½ minutes) BBC podcast

I was particularly struck by what she said about us “… doing that awful compare and despair sort of thing…” Continue reading “Compare and Despair”

#IAMWHOLE

You might expect that the title of this campaign would appeal to me – and it does. So does the purpose.

Launched for World Mental Health Day, #IAMWHOLE is fronted by Jordan Stephens, the hip hop star from Brighton –  one of the Rizzle Kicks duo – who lost someone to suicide and who’s had his own mental health issues, too. Continue reading “#IAMWHOLE”

Lean on Me

guitar-1201377_640A close friend of mine recently sent me a link to the You Tube video of Carole King performing ‘You’ve Got a Friend’ in Hyde Park. Watching this (which I really liked) made me think of the words of another favourite song: ‘Lean on Me’ by Bill Withers:

“Lean on me, when you’re not strong
And I’ll be your friend
I’ll help you carry on
For it won’t be long
‘Til I’m gonna need
Somebody to lean on”

Continue reading “Lean on Me”

The Power of Vulnerability

A friend put me onto this TED talk by Brené Brown a while ago. Since then I’ve shared it with lots of other people, watched other videos of hers on You Tube (more on vulnerability plus shame and resilience), and read some of her books: ‘Daring Greatly’ and ‘Rising Strong’.masks-827730_640

It’s an inspiring talk. Amongst other things, she talks about the importance of human connection and that it won’t happen unless we approach it wholeheartedly, with the courage to risk making ourselves vulnerable to others. Continue reading “The Power of Vulnerability”

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑